Dealing with Peyronie's is stressful and difficult, not just for the man who is afflicted with this condition, but also for his partner, as well. I was suffering from depression, and was pretty much inconsolable for a while. It is one of those things that you just do not know if it is ever going to get better.
I was impacted very negatively by decreased self-esteem and a complete lack of sexual confidence. While this was going on with me, my wife was having to deal with my physical deformity in a very important area of our relationship. Sex was very uncomfortable and painful for both of us. Through it all she was very supportive, but obviously concerned, and I know she was a little grossed out by the strange appearance of my penis.
I hope it will help you to know, that you are not alone. Peyronie's disease is not spoken of much, and there is not a whole lot of medical research or information available. It is a relatively common condition. It is estimated that up to 10% of Caucasian men have Peyronie's disease sometime during their life. That figure comes directly from Urological surgeons that treat the condition. Unfortunately, due to the silence surrounding this disease, couples can feel isolated and often suffer in silence. That is why I decided to come out publicly and put a name and face to this terrible condition, and build this website. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and this condition does not make a man less masculine. This is a condition that is completely out of your control, and very little is known about its' causes. Peyronie's disease can come on fairly slowly, and is something you may try to ignore at first, until it becomes unavoidable. That for us was while we were on a vacation to Kauai. It seemed like suddenly it was much worse and the erections were painful.
If you are the partner of someone with Peyronie's and you are reading this. It is important for you to know that your partner is probably suffering a great deal of embarrassment and is having feelings of inadequacy. It is important for you to talk together, about his condition and how it is affecting you. This may be a difficult subject to bring up, and he may resist having this conversation with you. It is better to talk about the impact of this condition on your relationship, than to ignore it; after all it takes two people to have a relationship. Having a conversation about it, could be an important first step in seeking treatment. Try to be sensitive when you approach the subject. Men can put up a tough front, but I know from experience that during this time our ego's are very fragile.
You could begin the conversation with affirmation. “Honey, I have always enjoyed our sex life, but with what is going on right now. I think it would be a good time to talk this over with your doctor. Maybe he could help us get things back on track. I would be happy to go with you, if you want the support.” Most men would have a positive reaction and begin talking.
I am very thankful for a loving and supportive wife. I Love her more every day and am so proud of her for the way she stood with me, through those really dark times. Good positive feelings are important for healing. Spend quality time together, and try to be creative and playful in the bed room, in spite of this condition.
|Marcello Mastioanni and Anna Karina in the Stranger|
I hope that you have found the information in this website helpful toward your healing process.